Last full day at my mum's

Today is my last day at my mum's. After tomorrow, I can no longer be at her home. This is harder  to deal with than I thought it would be. I've neglected my own home to be at mum's, sorting through her possessions and now that has all been done. How I'm still here is beyond me. I don't know what to do with myself. I am fighting a huge wave of grief from swallowing me up, I don't want to feel any deeper pain than what I already am. Don't even know how it's even possible for this pain to get any bigger. How do other people cope when they lose someone really, really close to them? My mum was my everything. I want her back so bad. I miss you so, so much mum. I'm not doing too well without you, I need you here. You weren't ready to pass on and we weren't ready either, it was such a shock and I don't know how I'm going to go on without you. For now, I'm just trying to keep on keeping on but I'm not living, merely existing. My life is so bleak without you. I know you're here in other ways I know you are but I want you back properly. You're my mum. I love you so, so much xxx