Hitting home

Today has really hit home the enormity of my loss today, of my precious mum. The best you could ever hope to have. Driving past the chemo unit was like a punch right in the stomach for she should still be having her chemo. I then visited my mum's place of rest & that was it, my heart just broke into a million pieces again and the pain was as deep and raw as ever. How am I supposed to live with this? Why did God take my mum? Why couldn't he have taken me he had to have taken someone? Or better still, someone that had done wrong, like, say, a murderer, someone that deserved to go! What did my mum ever do? What did she do? Why was she taken? Why? I need to know. She can't have been taken for no reason at all, there must be a reason, for her to be taken for no reason at all makes her passing even more cruel. Please someone, anyone, tell me why my mum was taken. I can't handle this pain. Some days I cope by denying everything just to get by but sooner or later it all comes crashing down on me like it did at the cemetery today. Walking towards my mum at the cemetery. Cemetery. Why? Why is she there? I want my mum back. Don't care about anything else I just want her back!