Flowers

Today I put flowers on nan and grandad's places of rest. I also laid some on your spot, mum. It felt so wrong. Taking flowers up for you. Usually it's me and you working as a team to get nan and grandad's flowers sitting right in their urns. It was so hard taking your flowers, I shouldn't have to be doing that, you should be here. Words cannot even come close to describing how heartbreaking it was. I can't wait to be with you again, you're my everything and I can't live without you. I'm trying, reluctantly, but I just can't do it and nor do I want to. How am I supposed to go on without you? How? My world has been shattered and it would be an impossible task piecing all the bits together again so I'm not even going to try. I'll carry on existing, for now, but know that I shall be reunited with you again soon. I'm not strong enough to endure this pain so please don't be angry with me. We all have to go at some time and everything here is such a struggle I may as well be with you again and be happy. I love you so much xxx