Bad night

I say bad night, but was it really? It's not bad to grieve your nearest and dearest. Maybe wrong choice of words. However, last night, the last hour of it was hard. I felt my loss so raw like it was only yesterday I lost my beloved mum. I still can't believe it has happened. I cried and cried and felt like I'd never stop. It hurts so bad. Am I really never going to see my mum again? Ever? How is that even possible? I can't imagine it. But I'm living it. How? Life is the hard part for the living when they have lost someone so close. I'd give anything, anything, for it to have been me to have gone that night, not my mum. I can't handle the loss. Don't know how to get through it but I do know one thing, one day we shall be reunited xxx