I had the biggest breakdown I've had in a long time yesterday. The emotions were so raw and powerful that I literally was beside myself. I don't know if my earlier mental health appointment sparked it but I can't go through that again so I'm going to discharge myself in an effort to avoid another bad episode. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't feel I'm ever going to be normal. I keep thinking of ways to finish it all and I came so close last night. I had the biggest argument I have ever had with my youngest last night and today I just feel so down and drained. I don't know that I can cope much longer. Yesterday was a bad day that brought bad news and I lost it completely. Everything is overwhelming me and I can't see a way out. Other than finishing it all. Everyone will be so much better off without me around.
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