What a night tonight has been. So upsetting and stressful. Had a 'to do' with a sister and it's clear we are from different planets. Drink was involved so no doubt this heightened emotions but there's no excusing the fact our father is no one to be proud of. As far as I'm concerned I have no father. Certainly no dad. Dad's don't take out their bitterness on their grandchildren by ignoring their birthdays. For this I cannot forgive him. All I want is my mum. I want her so bad and the feelings of frustration and sadness has been overwhelming tonight. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I want to be back with my mum but I know by doing so I will be greatly upsetting my children. They too will have to deal with not having their mum with them. How on earth do people cope when they lose their mum? How does life even go on when your own world stops? I wish I knew the answer.
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