...of cigs. Thick snow outside and I can't be arsed going out to buy any. I don't feel too bad for not having any, I've just read a few pages of my AC book so I'm feeling rather empowered at the mo. Say, around 20% haha I did have a fleeting thought to see how long I can go before buying any but no can do. I'll stop when I stop. I'll know when the time is right,. Hopefully!
I am currently thinking of a lil mantra to say to myself each time I feel a poke from evil Nic. A strong positive one. He just stabbed me just now actually but still can't be arsed going to the shop so he can sod off ha! There I am, holding one end of the rope and there he is, holding on dearly for all he is worth at the other end. Yes I am winning this battle woo go me! I have pulled him about 30% towards the line...
Thar goes another stab. Rubbish. I feel like going to the shop now but at the same time I really don't want to. It's too cold. And too much effort. How did I get so lazy?! Also, I am gonna try associating the 'pangs' with another action. Instead of reading the pangs as a need for a ciggie, I'm gonna try to take them to mean I want to do some knitting lol Not knitting as such but another activity. One that I like. "oh, did you just poke me Nic?" instead of associating that poke as a need for a ciggie, I'm gonna disassociate that link and replace the need for a cig with a need for knitting instead. Yeah, I think I'm onto something there...or not... :)
Sunday 5 February 2012
Friday 3 February 2012
Prep games and material...
Today, I took delivery of a lil DS game...'My health coach - stop smoking with Allen Carr'. Have had a few mins on it, seems it will be helpful. Cost a couple of quid but capable of saving me thousands! So I am armed with my book and the game and I'm hoping it will transform my attitude towards smoking. It did it before and I'm hoping it will again, although I am not kidding myself that I will have a relatively easy quit like last time. CT too!
I did think about going back on the NRT but the only thing stopping me is that I remember when I used it a couple of weeks ago it hit me that I'm just prolonging my withdrawal, maybe it's just easier to go the whole hog and combat both the addiction and habit at once. Seem's a daunting task but I am trying to change my perceptions.
Today, has been a real shit day. I'm glad I didn't pick today to stop! I have not set a definite date yet but I know I need to because the longer I leave it the harder it's going to be to stick to a date. I feel I will know the moment as I proceed with my AC material. I kinda felt an aversion towards cigarettes last time due to AC, lets see if I experience the same this time.
http://www.cosmosmagazine.com/features/print/2349/nicotine-can-it-save-your-brain,
I did think about going back on the NRT but the only thing stopping me is that I remember when I used it a couple of weeks ago it hit me that I'm just prolonging my withdrawal, maybe it's just easier to go the whole hog and combat both the addiction and habit at once. Seem's a daunting task but I am trying to change my perceptions.
Today, has been a real shit day. I'm glad I didn't pick today to stop! I have not set a definite date yet but I know I need to because the longer I leave it the harder it's going to be to stick to a date. I feel I will know the moment as I proceed with my AC material. I kinda felt an aversion towards cigarettes last time due to AC, lets see if I experience the same this time.
http://www.cosmosmagazine.com/features/print/2349/nicotine-can-it-save-your-brain,
Wednesday 1 February 2012
Smoking...
...is for losers. Unless it's a big fat spliff ha! Not that I partake in such activities ;) fk dat shit, I'm hardcore, hit me up wid da heroin any time boi! No seriously, I don't do that shit either. Thank gawd. Got enough on my plate without being bogged down by another drug! Drugs = Bad. Not good.
It can be hard to undo all that you are used to. I ran out of cigs tonight and I didn't want to go to the shop to buy any 'cos I had to pick my mummy up from bingo and I couldn't be arsed doing two trips out. So, I went (easily) 2 hrs without lighting up and I have to say, I have a problem. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen, which is where I smoke. I might have one fag, I might have two, but on each visit to the kitchen, I can easily spend half hour on each visit. I am a Twitter addict and I get so caught up on it time just flies by.
So I'm lying there on the sofa without any fags. My subconscious pokes me to go and have a ciggie. I haven't got any so I dismiss the thought. Fifteen minutes later my subconscious gives me another poke. Again, I dismiss it. Eventually, I start getting restless. I want a smoke but don't have any. Should I go shop and get to the bingo hall early to wait for my mummy (ha) or just keep dismissing these pokes. I realise I now have to find something to do with all that time I will be at a loss with which used to be spent in the kitchen getting some Twitter action. Hmmm. I have plenty to do, college work, housework, volunteer work to sort out etc. etc. but it just isn't the same. It is like a ritual to me. Kitchen - fag - Twitter. Fag time is Twitter time basically, it's the main time I check it. During my crappy quit I failed, I found using Twitter whilst in the living room 'not quite the same'. I have to disassociate Twitter from smoking. But how? I guess only time will distance the association but I need to find something else to do, something else that involves using my hands. I have to find alternatives to everything that I used to do with a cigarette.
My family take the piss out of me a lot re my smoking habit. "After a fag" is my catchphrase. I have to have a fag before I do anything. Even if I've not long had one. Say, I've just had a fag. My bf wants to go shops. Despite only having one ten mins ago, I'll want another one before we go to the shop. Wtf? I don't really feel ready to stop but when do you ever? My determination to stop has somewhat lessened but stop I will. It's all mind games. I'm not telling myself I can't ever smoke again, way too final, I'm just telling myself that I choose to stop for now. But who am I kidding? I do plan to stop with no intention of ever smoking again, yet, that notion is far to abrupt. I'm just hoping my AC books will turn my way of thinking round again. Here's hoping!
It can be hard to undo all that you are used to. I ran out of cigs tonight and I didn't want to go to the shop to buy any 'cos I had to pick my mummy up from bingo and I couldn't be arsed doing two trips out. So, I went (easily) 2 hrs without lighting up and I have to say, I have a problem. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen, which is where I smoke. I might have one fag, I might have two, but on each visit to the kitchen, I can easily spend half hour on each visit. I am a Twitter addict and I get so caught up on it time just flies by.
So I'm lying there on the sofa without any fags. My subconscious pokes me to go and have a ciggie. I haven't got any so I dismiss the thought. Fifteen minutes later my subconscious gives me another poke. Again, I dismiss it. Eventually, I start getting restless. I want a smoke but don't have any. Should I go shop and get to the bingo hall early to wait for my mummy (ha) or just keep dismissing these pokes. I realise I now have to find something to do with all that time I will be at a loss with which used to be spent in the kitchen getting some Twitter action. Hmmm. I have plenty to do, college work, housework, volunteer work to sort out etc. etc. but it just isn't the same. It is like a ritual to me. Kitchen - fag - Twitter. Fag time is Twitter time basically, it's the main time I check it. During my crappy quit I failed, I found using Twitter whilst in the living room 'not quite the same'. I have to disassociate Twitter from smoking. But how? I guess only time will distance the association but I need to find something else to do, something else that involves using my hands. I have to find alternatives to everything that I used to do with a cigarette.
My family take the piss out of me a lot re my smoking habit. "After a fag" is my catchphrase. I have to have a fag before I do anything. Even if I've not long had one. Say, I've just had a fag. My bf wants to go shops. Despite only having one ten mins ago, I'll want another one before we go to the shop. Wtf? I don't really feel ready to stop but when do you ever? My determination to stop has somewhat lessened but stop I will. It's all mind games. I'm not telling myself I can't ever smoke again, way too final, I'm just telling myself that I choose to stop for now. But who am I kidding? I do plan to stop with no intention of ever smoking again, yet, that notion is far to abrupt. I'm just hoping my AC books will turn my way of thinking round again. Here's hoping!
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