Today...

...can't go fast enough. So fed up today & don't know why! Hmm, let me see, maybe it's my car insurance that has fked up once again and being extorted, or maybe it's the waiting around on hospital results, err, or it could be the never ending stress from the kids lately, maybe it's this stupid fking keyboard that refuses to get any thing I swipe correct!!!!!! Omg someone just shoot me now!! Actually that's all bullshit 'cos I am way past caring anymore and I'm gonna act like a cunt like most people and have no comebacks for such behaviour! It works for others so why not me!!!!!

My chilli...

...trauma :( I had the most evilist chilli sauce on my kebab last night. After rubbing my right eye, it was very uncomfortable, I've never known anything like it. I don't think my other chilli experience was this bad when my loving father dared me to eat a raw chilli (whole) for a tenner. I was left in major league discomfort. My eyes were watering, excessive saliva, heaving, mouth hotter than a fking volcano, felt very queasy and felt as if I was gonna pass out. Walking thru a blazing fire would have been preferable. At least I got a tenner for my troubles. I think I deserved more though for the entertainment value I obviously provided for him. There I was, in a lot of pain, and he was pissing himself laughing at me. Wtf. Took me a good hour to get back to normal. Didn't get much sympathy from any of the others either!
Anyway, my right eye is burning, so I rub it even more and boy did it sting. Eventually it calmed down & I went to bed, grabbed my book and got stuck in. Had to kind squint thru my right eye as it was still suffering some of the effects of the chilli sauce. Around two mins later I absent mindedly rub my left eye. Became apparent to me at that point that I hadn't managed to successfully wash away all the chilli from my fingers. Wtf! Tried to rub my eye with the edge of the duvet but only made matters worse as it felt as if I was rubbing the sauce in even further! Wow who knew eyes could burn and sting so fking bad! Went back to my book and had to squint thru both eyes now.
Fast forward a few hours to Sunday morning and I wake up to horrendous abdominal cramps. Fking ouch. Not long after, a trip to the loo was urgently needed. Oh my days. I don't think if a bunsen burner had been held to my bottom it would have hurt as much as that damn chilli. Ring of fire just doesn't cover it. Had to endure this pain for a good fifteen minutes till it started backing off and made me a nervous wreck in case I needed the loo again any time soon. This whole experience is not one I wish to repeat again. Ever.
I don't think I'll be touching that lethal stuff again any time soon!!
Think I might start a campaign to ban this nasty shit from the shelves!

Today is...

...one of the worst days ever. Just want it to be over :( Wish I could just disappear and live in a place where there is nothing but tranquillity, birdsong, the sound of lapping ocean waves, tall tropical trees, hollowed out coconut shells hanging from branches bopping away...heaven.
I would master primitive skills and delight in my newfound tropical surroundings instead of this concrete jungle. I would become inventive and create masterpieces from the natural habitat around me, including the garments that I wore. I would learn to live alongside all the bugs and insects instead of running away from them, maybe even let them walk over my hand and feel their spindly legs tickle their way round and round in my palm, in an endless circle.
At night, I would recline in a makeshift deck chair crafted by my own hands with the natural materials that abundantly make up the island's landscape...all the while listening to the gentle whispering of the frond-like leaves swaying in the cool sea breeze up high above my head, the sing song melodies from cheerful, colourful birds that no one had ever seen before, I would build castles with twigs and shoots...
Hmmm...sounds like a plan to me. Writing can be quite therapeutic :)

Sigh...

Feeling very sad tonight and lonely. Why is nothing ever easy? Why does everything seem such a struggle sometimes? Why can't I tune out from the constant whir that goes round and round in my head? Why does it seem as if as soon as one person enters your life, another one leaves it? Why can't a person have it all? Lots of whys but no answers. Such is life. Does He hear our silent pleas we send His way? Or does He just leave us to our own devices with no intervention? Wow, what a maudling mood I'm in tonight. Feeling very tearful, lonely, sad, quiet, tired...
Tomorrow is a new day and may it bring with it new opportunities and a smile or two...